Totes Masque
A 31-Gay Divination Challenge to Celebrate Gay Christmas
Two months ago, in sharing my 31-day Tarot Overload challenge, I had a little typo in the email snapshot. It said “31-gay challenge,” and while that was a funny mistake, a number of folks said they were intrigued by the concept.
Since this past month with my Tarot to Transform Your Life program and this coming month with the launch of my new collaborative deck, the Seaborn Kipper, mean that I’ve been very busy, I recruited Tom Benjamin of Tom Benjamin Tarot to help me flesh the idea out.
We came up with a celebration of queer culture through the lens of Halloween, what is sometimes called Gay Christmas. It’s a powerful time because we get to play with different identities, something empowering for those who feels forced into boxes or to take on identities defined by others. That these identities may or may not include costumes made from extravagant (or skimpy) outfits, wigs, and makeup is just an added bonus.
But whatever the accessories, the most important piece of any Halloween costume is the masque, the persona we step into, embody, and explore. While just about anything can be a costume (even if not everything *should* be), there are some favorites that have a lot to teach us about how we experience the world. And we’ll try them on for size throughout the month of October.
What is playful can also be powerful.
To give this divination challenge enough structure, we’ve consolidated common costumes into general types within thematic categories for each week. Each week has six questions based on a common costume type and a reflection for the end of the week. Each day of the week, the question starts with the same stem, and then the specific question pertains to that category of costume.
The general categories might seem abstract at first, but we wanted to leave plenty of room for personal interpretation. For two middle-aged white cis gay men, we know Cher’s iconic looks have offered important costume ideas for our community, but that’s just a small slice of the spectrum. So instead, we offer up the Diva in Week 1, which might evoke the powerful voice of Aretha Franklin or Beyoncé or Lady Gaga or the Indigo Girls or Kim Petras or Britney or Sam Smith or Michael Jackson. Likewise, the Squad could be the Golden Girls or the friends of Dorothy or ’N Sync or any other group that has meaning for you. The choice is yours.
The final three days of the challenge are about what masques of our own we want to wear to close out the month-long experience. We have a lot to learn from our own wisdom.
(Also, the Q stands for queer in case that wasn’t clear.)
WEEK 1: Iconiq
Icons of queer culture help provide anchors within queer culture, some old and enduring but some new and immediately impactful. The iconiq often have a look or identifier that is easy adopt as a masque. Their ability to elicit a strong response (for good or ill) imbues that masque with power that goes beyond normal life, and it can be fun to try them on for a night or even longer.
I described the Diva and the Squad above, but some of the others might benefit from further explanation (or not). As a reminder, these are just a small slice of who or what could fit within this category to help you tap into its energy. Make it work for you. The Glamazon might be Marilyn Monroe, Princess Grace, Eartha Kitt, RuPaul, or more recently, Timothée Chalamet, among others. The Heartthrob could be James Dean, Idris Elba, one of the Jonas Brothers, Ruby Rose, or whoever elicits that eye-catching and heart-melting attraction for you. Le Monstre Sacré is a little more obscure, an eccentric who fully is whoever they want to be, celebrity expectations be damned, such as the troubled stars of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? or John Waters. And the Realness asks us to pay homage to the imperfect and very real icons that provide strength to our community in the long run through their experiences: Marsha P Johnson, Harvey Milk, and the AIDS quilt are all historical examples that fall into this category for me.
The stem for Week 1 is “How can this Masque help me … “
The Diva. … find the power behind my voice?
The Glamazon. … show up in all my glory?
The Heartthrob. … attract what I want?
Le Monstre Sacré. … put it all on the table, warts and all?
The Squad. … support my chosen family?
The Realness. … stand up for my values?
The Reflection. If you had to distill your whole life (past + future) to one iconiq moment, what would you highlight? What would others highlight for you? How would that make you feel?
WEEK 2: Scream Queens
Horror and things that go bump in the night hold an important place for October and Halloween costumes of course, but there have been important connections for queer folx over the years. And if you, as I, don’t love horror, you can still find good prompts that will help you touch on your shadows through the safety of our fictional monsters. The Scream Queens come in many shapes, sizes, and qualities. Some may feel troubling to link to queerness, but they’re relevant to us all (not just queer folx). Adopting the costumery of these monsters and misunderstood villains allows us to play with our dark sides and expose the truth behind our fears. They’re a fun way to dig deep
Because of the varied nature of horror stories, there’s wide latitude for interpreting these figures. But for us, the Seducer would include Dracula and the Phantom of the Opera, as well as succubi and incubi, femmes fatales and black widows, among others. The Transformer includes those creatures that shift from one form to another, whether that’s a werewolf or Jekkyl & Hide or some other shapeshifter. The Vengeful includes horror staples like Jason, Freddy, and Michael Myers or la Llorona and the Woman in White, or any other frightening figure that just can’t let go of their desire for vengeance. The Freak is a figure first associated with disability and bodily difference, as seen in circuses and the classic film Freaks, but the premise can be applied (much less offensively) to horror classics like the creature of Frankenstein or the Hunchback of Notre Dame, or other beings that don’t fit in and can’t hide their difference. The Sadist delights in using others and causing pain for their own purposes, and that could include many serial killers, or stranger characters, such as Pinhead and Jigsaw. The Wicked calls to mind demons, fairytale witches, and misunderstood sorcerers who put their own needs and desires above everyone else, often twisting the world and people in it to meet their wants.
The stem for Week 2 is “What can this Masque teach me about …”
The Seducer. … the danger of desire?
The Transformer. … my hidden nature?
The Vengeful. … how I cling to old wounds?
The Freak. … my need for normalcy and comfort?
The Sadist. … why I hurt others?
The Wicked. … putting my own pleasure first?
The Reflection. What fear are you ready to see through a new lens? Which masque would you like to be able to wear more often? What does that teach you about fear?
WEEK 3: Problematiq
In some ways, Halloween costumes and sex-based role-play find common ground in the stereotypes of everyday life, and that makes for some consistently popular outfits. But with these categories—whether part of a fantasy identity or sexual fantasy—there’s an opportunity to explore the nuance behind the category. There’s often a problematic nature to our desire for and revulsion of these Halloween favorites, and it often depends on the context.
The Bad Boy could be the 1950s motorcycle-riding, leather-clad rebel you know will break your heart or the muscled jock you lust after without thinking too hard about whom they bullied in high school. The Mean Girl is the queen bee of the in-crowd from Mean Girls to the Real Housewives, and to be her is to wield social power but at the cost of others. The Power Player may be the grown-up version of these or the successful survivor who goes on to rule companies and countries, from Gordon Gecko to Nixon to Elizabeth Holmes, and many more. The One in Uniform can include those Halloween costume fantasies of sailors and soldiers, cops and Wild West sheriffs, and other personnel who provide a sense of safety and security to those in social comfort while others experience them through a loss of personal freedom or dignity. The Holy Roller includes all those who wear their religion on their sleeves, whether that’s a Bible-thumping evangelist, a Hare Krishna member, or the more classical choices of nun and priest. And our bizarre inclusion of Sexy Nonsense captures whatever nonsense is trending and is made “sexy” however inappropriate, such as Sexy Handmaid or Sexy Covid or Sexy Teletubby or whatever.
I’m not going to lie. I enjoyed searching the web for “gay sailor” inspiration photos that I could make into an easy black-and-white graphic. (The short shorts were my idea.)
The stem for Week 3 is “How can this Masque help me explore …”
The Bad Boy. … lust and self-loathing?
The Mean Girl. … status and exclusion?
The Power Player. … ambition and domination?
The One in Uniform. … stability and loss of autonomy?
The Holy Roller. … the sacred and the self-righteous?
The Sexy Nonsense. … playfulness and thoughtlessness?
The Reflection. Where are you uninterested in examining both the good and the bad? What fear (experienced or perceived) feeds into that? How can others help you explore that safely?
WEEK 4: Fantastiq
To counteract the horror of Scream Queens, we offer up the antidote of fantasy and magic, another popular costume choice and one full of the power to, well, empower. As I describe in the Inner Child section of the Life Line Tarot: Color Outside the Lines guidebook, the Wounded Child (horror) and Magical Child (fantasy) work side-by-side in our psyches.
For this, we offer up the High, such as gods, goddesses, muses, and angels, or whatever else feels elevated and above normal human experience and expression. Then we have the Mighty, who are the heroes of legend and popular culture, such as He-Man, She-Hulk, Xena, Superman, and the Black Panther to name a few. The Transcendent is a more abstract category, but includes those who are not bound by the false limitations of social constructs, such as gender fuckers, but it might also include those who see themselves in a reality beyond our own material dimensions. The Magical could include just about anything, but what queer costume party doesn’t have at least one unicorn or mermaid? The Grotesque is an invitation to look beyond the unpleasant surface and see the magic within, and goblins, gargoyles, and gnomes all offer up an opportunity to reflect on the obsession with a pretty surface. And then as a final offering to those who feel as though their favorite costume isn’t captured, we have the Classiq which may be a staple from childhood or just the costume you bring out every few years because it never goes out of style.
The stem for Week 4 is “How can this Masque help me ...”
The High. … make life divine?
The Mighty. … be a hero?
The Transcendent. … move beyond false binaries?
The Magical. … see everyday miracles?
The Grotesque. … expose false façades?
The Classiq. … find what’s tried and true?
The Reflection. What masques are not yours to wear? When do you feel that? When do you know that?
WEEK 5: Uniq
For the final week of the challenge, it’s all about you and your experience of this challenge. Sometimes you are the playful, and sometimes you are the empowered. And it will be especially great when you can integrate both at once.
The stem for Week 5 is “What can this Masque teach me about ...”
The Playful. … what’s fun for me?
The Empowered. … what’s right for me?
The Integrated. … the power of letting myself play?